Sunday, June 19, 2011

Letter to Dad

Dearest Papa (Dad),

I don't want to end this day without letting you know how much I miss you.  Today, I got to reminisce our special times together.  Tagging me along with you to go to Dad-and-Son events when I was little (because you had all girls).  Making us feel how proud you are of 'your girls'.  Someone asked me today what's the first thing that comes to mind when I think about you.

This one does.  The weekend we built my little sister's dresser when I was seven, my first lesson in carpentry.  You taught me the value of creating something with my little hands and how fulfilling it is to give.  My sister was just born for few weeks that time and you simply said 'She'll be happy to know you helped built it'. I didn't understood before how she can appreciate it since she was so small.  But in time I understood what you meant.

Thank you for staying those late nights to help me figure out math.  I never thought that I can win over my weakness in numbers.  With your patience, I became a math wizard in fifth grade.  You showed me that perseverance has its rewards and it was a lesson I carried all throughout up to now.   But really, it was your patience and the countless hours you devoted for me that got me through those challenges.

You never missed an important event in my life, however busy you were at work.  You were a quiet man who said less but showed more with your deeds.  You were there to cheer and witness my accomplishments and made me see beyond the hurts and failures.  That I had a choice, either give up or stand up.  Sulk deep in sadness  or pick up the lessons learned.  Time and again, it was proven that choosing the latter was better.  And that crying doesn't mean one was weak.

Like the time I had my first heartbreak and went home sobbing.  You and Ma sat there with me and you said 'Cry all you want tonight, but tomorrow starts a new beginning'.  It was easier said than done but I did it with both your encouragement and support. When everything else failed, you reminded us to pray harder and that there are no limits to trying again.

I loved that the people at your work knew all our names.  It showed that you talked about us fondly.  I miss talking about politics, love, life and trivial things with you in our orchids' garden.  My husband brings me orchids every spring to remind me of you.  You would have loved him too.  You both enjoy gardening and plants.  I talk about you to my sons, your grandsons.  I tell them stories of the vegetable gardens you set up for us so we can grow things and our trips to the rivers.

I will not forget the pride in your eyes when we walked arms together towards the stage on my college graduation and watching mom put the medal around my neck.  And how excited you were to hear I got my first job.

I didn't know it was that Monday I will see you last.  That in two days, God will take back the father he blessed us.  We were both looking forward to our date that weekend, I was going to treat you and mom from my first ever paycheck.  Instead, we all had to dress for your funeral.

I wish I can share with you the life I have now or recount the years you missed.  Like the time I walked down the aisle, promotions I got, attend my art shows (yes, I'm an artist now because of you) or the births of our boys.  Share special moments with your grandkids and get to know the loving husband and father God blessed me and my children.

We never got the chance to bid each other goodbye.  But perhaps we didn't have to.  Because just like you said 'We'll always be in each other's hearts'.

Dad, Mom, Me and Sisters (below). Circa 1978.

Pa, Happy Father's Day.  I love you with all my heart.

2 comments:

ckchy said...

beautiful that i can't stop but get misty eyed. This is karen po pala, your former colleague in jcc.

Sherie said...

Thank you Karen. I hope this will somehow lead others to verbalize their love for their parents as well.

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